My New Years Eve

New Years Eve is without a doubt the most depressing and disappointing night of the entire year.

99.9% of people don't spend their New Years Eve in a black stretch limo, being carted to awesome party after awesome party, where they'll ring in the new year with celebrities, coke, and under cover police officers who will later bust the celebrities for coke possession.

Instead, we mostly spend our New Years at dodgy bars, getting drunk and wishing we were surrounded by drug fueled celebrities, kissing play boy bunnies when the ball drops.

Which inevitably results in disappointment.

So I've long since given up on New Years Eve parties.

This year gave me a convenient excuse. You see, as of last night, I was still COVERED IN HIVES



And, like nearly every New Years Eve before, I was passed out well before midnight.



Here;s an outline of my New Years Eve, for you all to enjoy.

5:00pm

As I mentioned, I was still suffering from chronic 'giant hive monster'-itis.



Luckily, my friend 'prescription drugs' was there to help



Unfortunately, there's only so much drugs can do to help, and after an hour, I was still scratching rivets into my beautiful, beautiful body.

6:00pm



As anyone with even the slightest amount of medical knowledge knows, scratching releases histamines into the body.
These histamines trigger you to become even itchier, causing you to scratch more.
It's a vicious cycle I use as identifiable proof that god hates us.

There was only one solution to break the cycle.



Logically, if my hands were incapable of scratching, I could break the histamine cycle.

But in an itchy world, logic isn't very helpful

6:15pm



6:30pm

More drugs were consumed.



7:00pm

The House marathon on TNT left me cheerfully optimistic for the future.





7:30pm

More drugs were consumed



8:00pm

Around eight my grasp of the difference between reality and fantasy became tenuous, at best.



9:00pm

At nine, father came in to make sure I hadn't ODed.

I had constructed a cocoon out of my blankets.












Finally, drugged and exhausted, I fell asleep sometime around ten.

10:00pm



Midnight, New Years Eve



When I awoke the next morning, there was an unexpected surprise.

My hives had reduced by at least 80%

9:30am, New Years Day









Happy New Year, everyone.
From me, and Zimbo.