Who Clicks These Things?

I'm mad about ads right now.


For two reasons:

1. Why I'm mad (angry) about ads:

First, while I wait in 'not-single/not-married' limbo, stuck between 'tying the knot' and 'dying a lonely old spinster with no one but cats to keep my company, and the fear that my cats will one day turn on me if I can't get to the cupboard to feed them fast enough', my facebook status is permanently set on engaged.

Which, is fine.

Joshua's visa is finally being processed...



... so it's just a matter of time before he becomes a real, honest to goodness, American resident.

Until then I'm stuck looking at facebook ads for wedding diets, wedding photographers, wedding planners, wedding weeding, wedding reading, wedding gnomes, and all sorts of things I never knew that I was, apparently, supposed to be planning for.



Here are some examples of the ads I've been forced to look at on facebook for last year:





Notice the last few ads on that second one:
An ad for a popular GRE prep program.
And an ad for a masters of psychology program.

These ads, including those for wedding gnomes and wedding boot camps, all specifically relate to the information on my facebook.
Facebook knows that I'm studying for the GRE based on my age, specific words I use on my page, and the fact that I'm a 'fan' of several GRE prep programs already.
And facebook knows that I'm more likely to apply for a psychology program, because that was my bachelor and psychology is listed as one of my 'likes'.

Facebook has sophisticated software robots that collect information about us, and us that information to tailor ads that are, statistically, the most likely to attract our attention and business.




Now, I don't say any of this as a criticism of facebook or their advertisements; this is psychological profiling at its best.

But sometimes this profiling can tell us more about our society as a whole, than our own individual consumer needs.

You see, after I complained to my fiance about the number of wedding ads I see through facebook everyday, he told me he was pretty sick of their ads, too.
But for a different reason.

Since Joshua changed his status to 'engaged' facebook hasn't been flooding him with wedding ads.
They've been flooding him with dating ads.


'Meet single hot women!'

'Single women near you!'

'Cheat on your fiance! Marcella will never know!'

Ok, so maybe that last one was made up.

But here's the point; while the mighty facebook robots have decided that, based on my age and relationship status, I am more likely to look at wedding ads, they have also decided that, based on his age and relationship status, Joshua is more likely to look at ads with half dressed hookers, promising him a good time.

And while Josh continues to mark these ads as 'Offensive', and even commenting on them that he's, obviously, engaged, the ads only stop for a few minutes, before starting up again.



Now, again, I don't blame facebook for this one.

(You're off the hook this time, Mr. Zuckerberg)

But it tells a lot about our society that a male, mid twenties, listed as engaged is statistically likely to click dating sites, doesn't it?

Then again, sometimes facebook just makes mistakes.



Facebook also thinks I'm a registered nurse.

2. Why I'm mad (crazy) about ads:

Look to the right of this page.
You see the ad there?

Oh yeah.

I've sold out.

Google makes it incredibly easy for me to be a sell out, too. I clicked a few buttons and BAM - instant money for selling out.

And they use similar software to the programs that facebook uses to search commonly used words and phrases to decide what ads would appeal to my demographic.

The only problem is it takes a while before google can 'accurately' predict what my demographic even is.

Which has led to some pretty hilarious ads.

Like this one, for a rehab clinic:



Or this one, offering military car discounts:



But my favorite so far has to be the robot ads.

Oh yes, robot ads.

In my last post, I mentioned my fear that robots had finally turned on us, and had broken into my house.

Google took this fear, and decided the best way to advertise to it would be constant ads about robots.



I'd like to point out two things about the above ads:

First, there is apparently such a thing as 'Robot Competitions': something I find both awesome and terrifying (this is natural selection, people. They're getting stronger).

Second, 'Robotic Manipulator' has got to be the single most kick-ass job titled that has ever been dreamed up, ever.






But Google is starting to figure out my demographic.

Like this ad, on one of my GRE vocab posts:



Obviously anyone studying for the GRE is not getting laid.