Things That Make Me Happy...

Yesterday was one of the few bad days I've ever had at my new job.
This is not a reflection on my job, at all. It's not you, job; It's me. I just couldn't seem to do anything right.

For example, I spent four frustrating hours attempting to contact a medical evaluation company. I tried their phone, and it was perpetually busy. I tried their other phone, and it had been disconnected. I tried their fax, and it was also busy. I finally e-mailed them, to which I didn't receive a reply.
Five minutes before I left, and two hours after I had officially given up, I received a call from said company informing me that their power had gone out all morning, but had recorded a record 20-something calls from my office. They expressed both praise at my dedication, and a strong questioning of my sanity.
I didn't really blame them.

My day was so frustrating, that I forgot my newest blog post (which was actually finished early this week) at the office in my rush to get out, and had nothing to scan in when I arrived home.

It's days like this that we need reminding of the good things in life. The little things that make us happy when the world suddenly goes insane, and everything we touch dissolves into massive globs of fail.
So I sat down and made a list of the things that remind me that life isn't so bad after all.

1. High Heels

My dad has a saying; High heels are to women what porn is to men.

I disagree, and always told him that PORN is to women what porn is to men, but he never really believes it. His generation is still clinging to the idea that women view sex the same way we view cleaning the house; yeah, we'll do it, but we're not happy about it, and really we're just taking care of it before things get out of hand.

Also, I never see men displaying their porn in decorative shelves in their closet and squealing about what a deal they got on the new Hustler mag. That doesn't happen. And if it does, I really don't want to know about it.

I think shoes are to women what facial hair is to men. It's a source of pride, and makes us feel warm and comfortable in our gender roles (also, makes us feel warm and comfortable on our feet and faces, respectively).

And Cinderella taught us that shoes are magical. They can transform even the lowest servant into a princess; an idea that I and my peers still cling to.
Albeit, we cling to our own idea of the magical power of high heels. Instead of transforming us into princesses (so passe), high heels can transform this:





Into the combination of a power-hungry CEO...



...and a porn star.



Because that's how I feel in high heels. I feel like a mixture of Hilary Clinton and Dita Von Tease, with a little Suicide Girl thrown in for good measure.
High heels make me happy; be they kitten heels or 6 inch Manolo Blahnik stilettos.

(Side note: That exact negligee is available is several fashion colors at a Victoria Secret near you. You're welcome, VS)

2. Sushi

Sushi makes me happy. Because sushi just looks happy.

I mean, look at it:



Sushi also reminds me to try unexpected things. I was so hesitant to order my first Unagi Nigiri (fresh water eel, nigiri style).
It is now my favorite food of all time.



I will eat Unagi anyway possible. It is amazing.

3. Oversized bath robes.



4. Tae Bo/Kickboxing



I could never kick anyones ass. Due to both lack of physical strength, and the fact that in tense situations I have the survival instincts of a potato bug. I curl up and hope no one notices me.

But Tae Bo and Kickboxing make me feel like I could kick someones ass. I feel primal. I feel powerful.
And just when you feel like you can't do anymore kicks, Billy Blank informs me that we have one more set to do AND WAIT ITS DOUBLE TIME!* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

5. Kittens

Because kittens are pretty much the closest you can get to owning a small, fuzzy serial killer.


I recommend that everyone goes and makes their own 'Things that make me happy' list. Put it on your wall, or above your computer. That way, when you have one of those days where you start calculating just how many people you could take out before the cops get you, you can look at your list and remember that the world is still full of kittens and high heels and all sorts of wonderful things.
And I hope it makes you smile.


*For those who have no idea who Billy Blank is, I pity you. Go download his workout videos now.