Things I Can't Do...

There are a lot of things I can't do.
Control animals with my thoughts, for example (not yet, anyway)

Also, my attempts to cross bred a kitten with a puppy have so far been spectacular, and possibly illegal, failures.

So the following represents but a sample of things that, for the life of me, I simply can't do.


1. Put on Makeup

No matter how hard I try, or how careful I am, my ability to put on makeup has not improved much since I was five and managed cover myself and the carpet with my mothers expensive makeup.



2. Dress Myself

My ability to dress myself in a coherent manner hasn't improved much, either.



3. Open Jars



4. Cook

















5. Pay Attention to Anything for more than Two Minutes













6. Hang up on a Telemarketer



Years later...



7. Say 'No'