Cellaphobic: Things I Miss About Being a Kid...

Being a kid was the best experience of my life.
And, really, I think being a kid is the best experience of anyone's life.

But we all take it for granted.

Only now can I look back and say, 'Yep, being a kid was the best time ever'

So, to remind myself of all the great things I'm missing, I made a short list of reasons why being a kid was amazing.

1. Everything was free.

When you grow up, suddenly you have to buy everything.
Soap, food, clothes, toys, all of it.

This wasn't the case when I was a kid.

Because that's what parents are for.

If you wanted cookies, you just asked and BAM you got cookies.

That's not to say I got everything I asked for when I was little.

But now I actually have to buy things myself, which leads to this exact situation every time I go shopping:

2. Lunch

Lunch was great when I was a kid.
Lunch magically appeared whenever you said the mystical, ancient words "I'm hungry".

Suddenly, in five to ten minutes, lunch would be there, ready to be eaten.
It was a miracle.

But try doing that as an adult. Suddenly the magic words stop working.

Even packed school lunches were great.

But now, I have to make my lunch.

And most of the time, I don't have any food because I spent all my money on Sunny D.

I even have to make the lunches that I take to work.

When I realized this tragedy, by the way, I came up with the great idea of just making myself peanut butter sandwiches every morning.
You put some peanut butter between two pieces of bread, and BAM you're all set.

So I begged my father to pick up some peanut butter at Coscto, in exchange for some of my Sunny D and the Halloween candy I bought instead of milk.

The only problem with Coscto is that most of their products are larger than I am (I could literally make myself a comfortable room out of the amount of toilet paper you can buy in one package at Coscto).

Here is a rough estimate of the size of the peanut butter container my father returned with:

Also, it was Adams peanut butter, which everyone knows is the best peanut butter available.

It's so good, in fact, and so natural, that you have to mix it yourself.
Here's what Adams peanut butter looks like before you mix it:

And you mix all that peanut goodness together to make the most delicious peanut butter available.

Which is fine, when you're mixing a small jar of the stuff.

But not so fine when the jar is roughly the size of my body.

I decided a butter knife would be long enough to reach the peanut-buttery goodness at the bottom.

This was a mistake.

All I accomplished was managing to cover my entire arm in peanut butter oil.

Even worse, my eventually finished and very oily sandwich ended up getting squished in my bag, leaving me with a half-flat half-dripping monstrosity that I had to eat.

I'd have given anything for a sack lunch full of unicorns and rainbows.

3. Believing that, one day, you'll eventually grow up.

This was a big deal to me when I was a kid. I always believed, no matter what, that somehow when I got older everything was going to be better.

When I got older, I'd be 6 feet tall and a super model. I'd have 15 boyfriends, and everyone would love me.
But, most of all, I'd know my limits.

You see, when I was a kid, I didn't understand my limits at all.