Halloweenies

Halloween is, without a question, my favorite holiday of all time.

Yes, I get presents on Christmas.
Yes, I get turkey on Thanksgiving.
But Halloween is the ONLY holiday where you get to dress like an idiot and you get free candy.


I've loved this holiday ever since I was old enough to walk and my parents smooshed me into a rotund felt pumpkin monstrosity.



(And, yes, I was born with blond hair.)

I loved Halloween when I was a geeky child who dressed as a ballerina and was so nearsighted I couldn't find my way to front doors without my brother helping me.



And I even loved Halloween when I was a chubby, pimply and social awkward teenager who dressed as a witch



There are very few things I love as much as I love Halloween.

And, you know what? I still love Halloween.
For two very important reasons:

1. The Candy




2. The Bad Jokes

Bad jokes are like oxygen in my household: We cannot live without them.
And Halloween is the best holiday for horrible puns.

So, in celebration of my favorite holiday, I present you with what will hopefully be the corniest jokes I'll ever tell you.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

1.
Zombie:



Zom-bee:



2.

Witch-Craft:



Witch-Arts-And-Crafts:



3.

Vampire Bat:



Vampire Baseball Bat:



4.

The Bride of Frankenstein:



The Second Cousin of Frankenstein:



5

Jack-O-Lantern:



Jill-O-Lantern:



6.

Grim Reaper:



Not-so-Grim-Reaper: