Cella's Weekly Vocabulary: #3

1. Placate: verb (play cayt)

Definition: to soothe or pacify

Sample sentence given by people with no understanding of comedy: The burglar tried to placate the snarling dog by referring to it as a 'nice doggy' and offering it a treat.

Cella's Sentence: The Joshua tried to placate the snarling, PMSing Cella, by referring to her as 'nice cella' and offering her a treat. Snickers bars always work best.



2. Despot: noun (des puht)

Definition: a king or any ruler with absolute, unlimited power; a tyrant.*







3. Wily: adj (wie lee)

Definition: clever; deceptive

Sample sentence given by people with no understanding of comedy: Yet again, the wily coyote managed to elude the ranchers who wanted to capture it.

Cella's Sentence: Yet again, the not-so wily coyote decided a complicated, and probably expensive, ACME product was his best option for capturing the roadrunner... rather than, you know... buying a fucking gun.

4. Wanton: adj (wahn tuhn)

Definition: undisciplined; unrestrained; reckless.

Sample sentence given by people with no understanding of comedy: The townspeople were outraged by the wanton display of disrespect when they discovered the statue of the town founder covered in graffiti.

Cella's Sentence: You should never let a wanton chef cook your wontons (how dirty does that sound?).

I'm going to formally propose that 'cooking someones wontons' should immediately become slang for anything that's too dirty to mention, or actually explain.
Cella's example sentence: 'We were having a great third date, until he asked me to cook his wontons. After that, I excused myself to the restroom and used the window to escape. Needless to say, I wont be returning his calls.



5. Opprobrium: noun (uh pro bree uhm)

Definition: public disgrace

Sample sentence given by people with no understanding of comedy: After the scheme to embezzle the elderly was made public, the treasurer resigned in utter opprobrium.

Cella's Sentence: Fred's carnivore nature was regarded as complete opprobrium by the herbivores with whom he lived.







*If you don't recognize the person I've used as an example of a 'despot', please for the love of god pick up a newspaper.