I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit that two weeks ago my friend Kallista and I attended the midnight opening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part one!).
And I wasn't ashamed that we waited in line for four hours.
Because Harry Potter is awesome.
But we did notice one tiny, tiny problem...
Actually, many tiny, tiny problems.
You see, with a few exceptions, we were the oldest people there (who weren't accompanying their children).
Which brings me to my complaint:
Our generation grew up with Harry Potter, and how dare another generation try to take it from us
They don't know what it was like to wait a year to get the next book.
They don't know what it was like to grow up with the
characters
They don't know what it REALLY means to love Harry Potter
Which isn't their fault.
And it isn't our fault.
No.
The blame lies with...
The Marketing department of Warner Brothers.
They've completely dropped the ball on marketing to our generation.
Instead, they're marketing to younger and younger children; ignoring our generation completely.
Big Mistake.
But, thankfully for the Marketing Department, I've taken the time to do their job for them.
The following is a collection of products designed to appeal to the 18-28 demographic.
The adult Harry Potter fans.
1. Real ButterBeer
Because what would be better than drinking until you actually believe you're Harry Potter?
2. Chia Pet Patronus
You're already going to fill your dorm with kitschy crap, it may as well be Harry Potter crap!
3. REAL Pet Owls
Who doesn't want this?!
4. Harry's Magic Vibrating Wand
Oh yeah. I went there.
5. New Books
One of the main reason our generation love Harry Potter so much was that Harry Potter grew up with us.
Harry got to feel socially awkward at a new school just when we were feeling social awkward.
Harry learned the meaning of friendship just when we were learning the meaning of friendship.
Harry was all emo just when we were all emo.
But now the series is over, and we could really use Harry to help us through the next few stages of our life.
So I designed some new books for J.K Rowling based on the things our generation is going through.
Sexuality
Medical Problems
The Future
This Blog
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Musically Challenged
Hi, my name is Marcella.
And I'm musically challenged.
Which would be fine, if it wasn't for the fact that nearly everyone in my life is a musician.
It is impossible for me not to surround myself with musicians.
You see, my father is a musician.
My brother, Carter, is a musician.
My eldest brother, Damon, is a musician.
My nephew Tristan is not only a musician, and not only has his own band, he has a blog about music.
True story; It's called The So & SoAnd it's great.
Check it out: http://thesoandsoblog.blogspot.com/
Now, I try not to brag about my relatives and their relative awesomeness, but Tristan has been playing an instrument from just about the time he learned to walk.
Music is his life.
I'm surrounded by people who value music to the same extent most of us value air.
Which would be fine, if I inherited the music gene that apparently runs in my family.
But I didn't.
I didn't even inherit the ability to understand music.
Now, don't get me wrong. When I was little I tried so hard to be a musician.
And my parents encouraged me every step of the way. I'm certain they were convinced that, eventually, I would find an instrument that I could actually play and prove myself a prodigy.
I believed it too.
Attempt One:
Attempt Two:
Attempt Three:
Attempt Four:
Finally, my family and I realized that, perhaps, music wasn't my thing.
I couldn't carry a tune if you gave me a bucket.
'But, thats fine', I told myself.
'Music is just one talent. Nothing to get upset over. Music will just never be a big part of my life'.
And for many years, it was fine.
So I grew up.
And I moved to Australia.
And I met a wonderful boy.
All the time forgetting that, while I didn't inherit the music gene, it is impossible for me not to surround myself with musicians
And I'm musically challenged.
Which would be fine, if it wasn't for the fact that nearly everyone in my life is a musician.
It is impossible for me not to surround myself with musicians.
You see, my father is a musician.
My brother, Carter, is a musician.
My eldest brother, Damon, is a musician.
My nephew Tristan is not only a musician, and not only has his own band, he has a blog about music.
True story; It's called The So & SoAnd it's great.
Check it out: http://thesoandsoblog.blogspot.com/
Now, I try not to brag about my relatives and their relative awesomeness, but Tristan has been playing an instrument from just about the time he learned to walk.
Music is his life.
I'm surrounded by people who value music to the same extent most of us value air.
Which would be fine, if I inherited the music gene that apparently runs in my family.
But I didn't.
I didn't even inherit the ability to understand music.
Now, don't get me wrong. When I was little I tried so hard to be a musician.
And my parents encouraged me every step of the way. I'm certain they were convinced that, eventually, I would find an instrument that I could actually play and prove myself a prodigy.
I believed it too.
Attempt One:
Attempt Two:
Attempt Three:
Attempt Four:
Finally, my family and I realized that, perhaps, music wasn't my thing.
I couldn't carry a tune if you gave me a bucket.
'But, thats fine', I told myself.
'Music is just one talent. Nothing to get upset over. Music will just never be a big part of my life'.
And for many years, it was fine.
So I grew up.
And I moved to Australia.
And I met a wonderful boy.
All the time forgetting that, while I didn't inherit the music gene, it is impossible for me not to surround myself with musicians
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Snow Day!
Three inches of snow was all it took to stop me from going to work this morning.
I wasn't willing to even give a try after last nights joy ride.
Now, I remember exactly how snow days felt when I was in High School.
But this morning went more like this:
Suddenly I realized that I was stuck at home.
And that meant my office would be unattended until the doctor got there.
And I hadn't put out the patient charts for today for him.
And I hadn't sent off our patient list from yesterday to our billing company
WHO WOULD ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN THE DOCTOR WAS WITH A PATIENT?!
I was paralyzed with the anxiety of how my office would cope without me.
Of course, after three cups of coffee and a few hours of being warm and watching an SVU marathon on tv, the anxiety lessened.
And my attitude changed a little.
I wasn't willing to even give a try after last nights joy ride.
Now, I remember exactly how snow days felt when I was in High School.
But this morning went more like this:
Suddenly I realized that I was stuck at home.
And that meant my office would be unattended until the doctor got there.
And I hadn't put out the patient charts for today for him.
And I hadn't sent off our patient list from yesterday to our billing company
WHO WOULD ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN THE DOCTOR WAS WITH A PATIENT?!
I was paralyzed with the anxiety of how my office would cope without me.
Of course, after three cups of coffee and a few hours of being warm and watching an SVU marathon on tv, the anxiety lessened.
And my attitude changed a little.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Snow in Seattle
As most of you are far too aware, it snowed in Seattle this morning.
Now, some of you may remember my post explaining the phenomenon of Rain Induced Amnesia. Seattle drivers, though well experienced at driving in the rain, absolutely suck at it.
Snow has the same effect. Just one thousand fold.
Snow has the added bonus of not only making everyone in Seattle completely forget everything about driving, but also being horrifically dangerous even if you do know what you're doing.
Which, for the record, I don't.
This morning was the first time I ever drove in the snow.
And this afternoon was the first time I ever hit ice, lost control of my car, and attempted to hit a building.
Let's start at the beginning.
At ten to four my boss came up to tell me the snow outside was getting to be "Pretty serious".
So I went to our office's one window, and took a look for myself.
Since it was only my second time driving on snow, I was a little nervous.
But, I promised myself I'd take it slow, take it easy, and I'd be fine.
I slowly drove out of my parking garage onto the road, and got into the turn lane.
Now, here's what a meant to do:
All I wanted was to take a nice, wide left turn.
Here's what I actually did.
Halfway into my turn I hit ice that turned my car into a two thousand pound sled.
I knew something was wrong when I started to move sideways.
You see, my car doesn't have a sideways function.
Thankfully, I spent all day reading up on what to do if you lose control on the ice.
Let me explain; if there's the slightest chance something could happen, once I'm introduced into the equation the probability of it happening becomes one.
So I figured I better be prepared.
Now, all of the articles I read unanimously agreed that you should just let the car slide, and not try to slam on your breaks or turn.
So, I let the car ride.
Finally, with a very mild 'thump' my car came to rest against the curb.
At which point I carefully reversed, straightened the M&M, and drove home.
So, though snow is magical.
And though Seattle (even today) gets very, very little compared to other areas.
And though I made it back safe.
And though the M&M was fine.
I can enthusiastically say:
FUCK SNOW
Now, some of you may remember my post explaining the phenomenon of Rain Induced Amnesia. Seattle drivers, though well experienced at driving in the rain, absolutely suck at it.
Snow has the same effect. Just one thousand fold.
Snow has the added bonus of not only making everyone in Seattle completely forget everything about driving, but also being horrifically dangerous even if you do know what you're doing.
Which, for the record, I don't.
This morning was the first time I ever drove in the snow.
And this afternoon was the first time I ever hit ice, lost control of my car, and attempted to hit a building.
Let's start at the beginning.
At ten to four my boss came up to tell me the snow outside was getting to be "Pretty serious".
So I went to our office's one window, and took a look for myself.
Since it was only my second time driving on snow, I was a little nervous.
But, I promised myself I'd take it slow, take it easy, and I'd be fine.
I slowly drove out of my parking garage onto the road, and got into the turn lane.
Now, here's what a meant to do:
All I wanted was to take a nice, wide left turn.
Here's what I actually did.
Halfway into my turn I hit ice that turned my car into a two thousand pound sled.
I knew something was wrong when I started to move sideways.
You see, my car doesn't have a sideways function.
Thankfully, I spent all day reading up on what to do if you lose control on the ice.
Let me explain; if there's the slightest chance something could happen, once I'm introduced into the equation the probability of it happening becomes one.
So I figured I better be prepared.
Now, all of the articles I read unanimously agreed that you should just let the car slide, and not try to slam on your breaks or turn.
So, I let the car ride.
Finally, with a very mild 'thump' my car came to rest against the curb.
At which point I carefully reversed, straightened the M&M, and drove home.
So, though snow is magical.
And though Seattle (even today) gets very, very little compared to other areas.
And though I made it back safe.
And though the M&M was fine.
I can enthusiastically say:
FUCK SNOW
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)